The Playhouse

The French have a phrase which perfectly describes the feeling she had when they met, “l’appel du vide”. It is a phrase that translates to “the call of the void” in English. It describes that sudden impulse of wanting to do something dangerous or reckless, that compulsive urge you sometimes get when you are standing on a high place and think about jumping, falling.

This impulse isn’t necessarily suicidal; although in this instance it was emotional suicide. Paradoxically, it is an affirmation of the will to live, a sign of the brain’s awareness of a dangerous situation and the subconscious attempting to encourage a greater appreciation of what it feels like to be alive, an understanding of the control we have over our own mortality. Yet, there is a siren call to the abyss, to jump in to the unknown, a moment of liberation. A brief escape from our existence, jumping headlong into an alternate reality.It should be a single moment of distraction and then, just as suddenly, back to reality.

But, that isn’t what happened. She looked at him and understood the high and dangerous place that he was and the risks that falling in to him would mean, the damage. And she jumped anyway.